Fairy Boy
by Meggy
Summary: OOT with my funny, weird twist to things. Navi's still a total butt head, though. Chapter 2 is up. Mido's drunk! Come on, you saw it coming. First fic. Don't kill me!
1. Stupid Fairy Boy!

**Meggy: This is my first story, so give me a break if it's not the greatest. All peoples must REVIEW! Got it? Okey-dokey, let the fic begin!**

**Disclamer: Meggy doesn't own anything.**

**Meggy: Shut up! Pulls out wet noodle and whacks disclaimer with it**

**.:&:.

* * *

**

Chapter 1: Stupid Fairy Boy!

The Great Deku Tree stood there, wiggling his nose, and calling for one of the fairies.

"Navi…Navi…where art thou? Come hether…"

No response.

"Navi? Where art thou?"

Still with the crickets.

"FOR DIN'S SAKE, GET OVER HERE YOU ANNOYING BALL OF LIGHT!"

A white fairy, by the name of Navi, floated in, carrying a small 'Fairy Mania' magazine. She drifted in front of his face.

"What do you want?" she whined. "I just got to the good part."

The Deku Tree made a face. "Shut up and go get that kid, what's-his-face."

Navi nodded. "Whatever," she muttered, flying through the forest to the fairy-less boy's house. She saw Mido standing near the entrance to The Deku Tree's Meadow. He had an empty beer bottle in his hand and his eyes were half-closed.

"What an moron," Navi muttered. She ignored all the other Kokiri, who were standing around doing nothing with big, stupid grins on their faces, and flew into Mr. No Fairy's house.

She made a face. "_That's_ him?" she asked herself. "I'm in way over my head…"

She sighed and floated over to him. The brat was sleeping. "Hey, kid, it's time to wake up! The Crappy Tree wants to speak with you."

He just rolled over.

Navi turned red with anger. "Hey! I said wake up!"

Nothing.

Navi was _really_ mad now. " GET THE &$# UP YOU STUPID $&$ING &$#!"

The boy woke up with a start. "Who's doing all the cussing?" he asked, half asleep. "Mido? What I do this time to make you cuss so badly? It's usually just minor stuff."

Navi rolled her eyes. "No, you idiot. I'm Navi, and I'm going to be your partner from now on."

The blonde's eyes widened. "I'm Link. Are you really going to be my fairy partner?"

Navi scowled. "Yes, but don't expect me to be nice to you. In fact, I'm going to be tough, annoying, and demanding. That's what I do. And I want no slackers, you got that, you pathetic waste of a Kokiri!"

Link stood up and saluted. "Yes, sir, Sargent Navi, sir!"

The fairy rolled her eyes again. "I'm a girl, you nitwit!"

Link nodded and said, "Yes, ma'am."

"Good. Now move it or lose it, kid. Old Beardy Tree needs to talk to you." Muttering to herself about firewood and Mido being a drunken pain, she floated out the door.

Link sighed. "I'm not a nitwit…"

.:&:. END .:&:.

* * *

**Meggy: Yes, I know it's short and crappy, but I'm under stress with school. I'm squeezing in time as much as I can, so bear with me, people! READ AND REVIEW OR I'LL LET MY BABY DODONGO EAT YOU ALIVE AND HAVE YOU JOIN THE REDEADS AND POES IN A GAME OF MUSICAL CHAIRS! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!…So, please review. Creepy Mask Salesman smile**

**Link: You're just insane.**

**Meggy: Quiet, bean ball! Whacks Link senseless with her WET NOODLE OF DOOM.**


	2. Mido, the Drunken Bully

**Meggy: YAYYY! People reviewed! Thanks lots! I'm responding, now.**

**Numdenu: I know! I'll come up with a name for it sooner or later.**

**hannah sievers: Thanks! I made it up myself!**

**minishlink: Aw, stop. You're making me blush!**

**More reviews, more chapters! Well, I'm just glad SOMEONE likes my story…**

**Link: I think you're just desperate.**

**Meggy: Oh shut up and just do the disclaimer already.**

**Link: Okay! Meggy owns nothing!**

**Meggy: (Whacks Link with WET NOODLE OF DOOM!) Thank you. Now, fic time!**

**.:&:.

* * *

**

Chapter 2: Mido, the Drunken Bully

Link ran outside and started climbing down the ladder. But, being the lazy little butter fingers that he is, he lost his grip and fell.

WHAM!

"Okay…ow," Link muttered, pulling himself up.

Navi sighed. " Watch where you're going, you dolt." Turning around, she scooted off…and ran straight into Saria, who just happened to be stopping by.

"Hey, Link! I see you got a fairy," Saria said, smiling.

"Good morning, Saria," Link replied. "Did you need something?"

Saria scratched her head. "Well," she muttered. "I did, but now I can't remember what it was." She shrugged. "Oh well. I'll think of it later and tell you then, okay?"

"Got it."

"Well, see ya!" Saria ran off in the direction of her house. She bumped into a wall, ran into the kid who was cutting her grass, then finally made it inside.

Navi stared. " That was really weird. Why was she acting like a total idiot?"

Link shrugged. "She's always been like that. Doctor said she has a sugar problem."

"Whatever," Navi said. " Let's get a move on, squirt. We still need to see the Deku Tree, so GET GOIN'!"

Link flinched. "Okay, okay. No need to yell in my ear, we're going!"

When they reached the entrance to the Deku Tree's meadow, they found Mido standing at the entrance. A pile of five empty beer bottles sat beside him. Another half full one was clutched tightly in his fist.

Link went pale. "Uh-oh," he muttered.

Navi turned to her new partner. "What is it THIS time!" She said hotly. It was pretty easy to tell she was already getting _very _irritated.

"Mido's been drinking again."

"SO WHAT!"

"Last time Mido got drunk, he tried burning down the entire forest! _And _he nearly killed Maple, who was standing in his way!"

"JUST GODESS #$&! GO ALREADY!"

"Alright, no need to cuss, now. But I blame you is he tries to kill me!"

Knees shaking, Link slowly edged toward Mido, who was swaying while he stood. Link stopped.

Navi sighed. "What now?"

"Did I mention Mido really, _really_ hates me?"

"No. Now go see the drunken shrimp."

Link sighed and stood right in front of Mido. Everyone in the forest knows that it's a very, very, very, very, very, **_VERY_** bad idea to walk up to Mido if he's drunk. Even Navi knew. A tiny voice in her head has been saying, "I think this is a bad idea" for a while. But Navi couldn't really hear the tiny voice, because a much louder tiny voice has been screeching, "I wanna see what happens" for just as long. So, naturally, Navi decided to listen to the louder voice, basically to make it shut up.

Link swallowed and started in a shaky voice. "H…Hi, Mido. C-Could we get passed to s-see the Great Deku Tree?"

Mido's eyes were criss-crossed. He tried making out the blurry figure in front of him. He hiccupped. "Whassama?" he asked.

Link tried again. "We need to speak with the Great Deku Tree," he said slowly.

Mido raised an eyebrow. " Meku Fee?"

Link quickly nodded. "Yes. Deku Tree. We need to see him."

Mido pulled out a deku shield and the Kokiri sword. He took a step toward Link. "No see Geaky Ree." He growled.

Link took a few steps back. "Now what do I do, Navi?" he asked.

Navi was filing her nails during all this. She looked up from her hand. "Take the sword and knock him out with it," she said. "Being drunk makes him a butterfingers."

Link took a deep breath and quickly swiped the sword from Mido's hand. He thumped Mido on the head with the hilt. The drunken Kokiri landed in the grass, unconscious.

"Take the shield, too," Navi said. "It could come in handy later."

Link nodded, picked up the wooden shield and ran into the Deku Tree's meadow before anyone could see what he did to Mido.

Navi floated after him, smiling to herself. _This has been the best idea I've had all day!_

.:&:. END .:&:.

* * *

**Meggy: I made this one longer and more interesting. Hope you like it! REVIEW OR I'LL THROW YOU INTO THE SHADOW TEMPLE AND FORCE YOU TO BECOME ONE OF THE LIVING DEAD, WHERE YOU WILL MOAN IN AGONY, SCARE THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS OUT OF PEOPLE, AND WATCH FOOTBALL DURING COFFIE BREAKS! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (smiles to herself) Oh I'm soooo evil!**

**Link: Yes, you are.**

**Meggy: (grins at Link) I know.**

**Ruto: I order you to carry me around!**

**Meggy: Who the heck let HER in here? Oh well. More fun for me! (smacks Ruto with her oh so useful WET NOODLE OF DOOM!) Thanks for reading!**


End file.
